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i cut myself again and again to remind myself of you

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


List ten songs that you are currently digging. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other random people to see what they're listening to.

for da katy who tagged me

1. Babes in Toyland - Bluebell
2. Sly and the Family Stone - Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself
3. OPM - Undercover Freak
4. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
5. Smashing Pumpkins - Zero
6. Hole - Gutless
7. Nirvana - Lounge Act
8. Lil Boosie - Swerve
9. Kanye West - Gold Digger
10. Tommy James and the Shondells - My Baby Does the Hanky Panky (DAMN JADE!)

Tagging: all you mother fuckers! hahahaha

(what the fuck did you say?)

Monday, August 22, 2005


i had such a good time last night... i needed after the bad mood i was in when i left work... kristin called me and ask me if i would stay late for her because some lame excuse and she was in her home town... and thinking back to all the times i need her to cover for me (like trents death and my car breaking down) and all the times she showed up late for work .. i said no because tim had to be at work.. excuses.. like she gives me.. so yeah 3pm rolls around "umm i am going to be there in like 15 minutes" is what she called and told me... which would make her 15 minutes late because i was suppose to leave at 3... 3:30 rolls around and i have like 10 drinks lined up in front of me and she walks in... i called erin and told her what happened and that i told her tim was late because we have a shift that is irresponsible.. i was sick of having to leave late everytime kristin relieves me... she said she would take care of it but i dunno.. i know jeff is leaving soon and she wants those days off and if kristin is fired she wont be able to go... but i know she has been late for more an 3 shifts... the rule is after three times you are out... isnt like she gets her shit done... she is suppose to do tips today and i need the money bad.. i wont be surprised if they arent done... they havent been on time in 3 weeks because of her.. i had to do them last week because i didnt have gas to get home.. theres no reason to be that crappy with your job.. i have developed such a huge hatred for her and the way she uses people and doesnt care about anyone other than herself.. plus she is a liar... she will tell you anything to get what she needs and not talk to you again...

but yeah after all that crap we went to eat chinese food and it was me, katy, tim, justin, christina, and nhu... i havent seen christina or nhu in a long time.. it was great to be stupid with those guys... we have such a great time with each other everytime we hang out i dont know why we dont do it more often.. .we stayed at the chinese place for a while and talked and talked and talked then we all went back to my place where we played donkey konga and looked at old pics and decided to go swimming.... after everyone left i completely crashed out in the bed... i was exhausted...

now i am about to get ready to go to work again tonight.. joey and monty are suppose to work with me.. hopefully it goes smoother than last time ( long story) if monty even shows up.. he didnt for his shift saturday...

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

8:51PM - i love this woman

so i was listening to my old babes in toyland cd and god i forgot how powerful her voice was to me... it makes me angery and all girl power! Kat Bjelland i you!



Flys through the air with the greatest disease
Takes little pills and calls them trapeze
I know you’re right
Everything you do is right
Everything I do is true
Bluebell to hell
Lo and behold a girl with a goal
Looks so old she’s made out of gold
I know you’re right
Everything you do is right
Everything I do is true
Bluebell to hell
I want to live in the smallest corner
In the densest mind in the fuckmost room
And sing the stars they swing from their chandelier strings
I know real love
You know who you are
You’re deadmeat motherfucker
You don’t try to rape a goddess
Flys through the air with the greatest disease
Takes little pills and calls them trapeze
I know you’re right
Everything you do is right
Everything I do is true
Bluebell to hell
You are so obvious

Bruise Violet

You got this thing that really makes me hot
You got alot and more when you get caught
You got this thing that follows me around
You fucking bitch well I hope your insides rot
You see the stars through eyes lit up with lies
You got your stories all twisted up in mine
You got this thing that follows me around
You were born with glue instead of spine
Of thee I sing
Tied to a string
You got this thing that follows me around
You got this thing that really makes me hot
You got alot and more when you get caught
Bruise violet
Bruise violet
Bruise violet

Handsome and Gretel

Gretel said I know what’s in your head
I vacuumed out my head
I know you’re feeling bad you fucking bitch you cunthole bitch
I thought she meant it yeah
She really jacked my head
She went and done it
Handsome gretel
My name is gretel yeah
I’ve got a crotch that talks
And talks to all their cocks
It’s been 12 city blocks you fucking bich
Gretel said oh you feel so bad
I know you feel so bad
I thought she meant it
Handsome gretel
I vacuumed out my head
Jumping from bed to bed my name is gretel
A soul of metal
My name is gretel yeah
I’ve got a sloppy slot
Handsome gretel
Say violets hang around with toilets and look smack at us
And symbolize everything that is disgust and mistrust
Licorice eyes
Pin me down
My thighs are vices yeah
He is a stupid man
I love him all I can you fucking bitch
Addle girl
She pulls out all her curls
She is a stupid crotch
That’s been 12 city blocks

(what the fuck did you say?)

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

4:30PM - korn in your poo

pissie penguin: you can make it invisible
beneathedarkness: Hi, we're Korn. Remember us ?
pissie penguin: HAHA
pissie penguin: you made a funny
beneathedarkness: i havent heard shit from them
beneathedarkness: since the singer was in that crappy vampire movies
beneathedarkness: - s
pissie penguin: head left the band to be a born again christian
beneathedarkness: oh yeahhhh
beneathedarkness: i hope he cleaned up the afterbirth
beneathedarkness: holy afterbirth can be narsty
pissie penguin: haha
beneathedarkness: you know they only played the song daddy live once ?
beneathedarkness: I tried to find it but never could
pissie penguin: they played it at family values 2
beneathedarkness: eh
beneathedarkness: sell outs haha
pissie penguin: i saw it
beneathedarkness: well at one time they had only played it once
beneathedarkness: and i cudnt find it
beneathedarkness: was he all crying and shit
pissie penguin: they did a fan survey and asked what they wanted to hear live and of course everyone picked daddy
beneathedarkness: Survey question # 2 Would you pay MORE if Jon cried ?
beneathedarkness: # 3 If his dad ass fucked him during the chorus, wud you buy a t-shirt ?
beneathedarkness: la la la
pissie penguin: i would buy a shirt
beneathedarkness: haha

(what the fuck did you say?)

Thursday, August 4, 2005


i haven't felt like this in a long time... feeling of depression.. overwhelming depression... i don't know what the fuck i am going to do.. rent due in about 12 hours... we don't have it... our loans are due... we don't have that either... how did we get to this point again? things were going so well.. i hate this feeling.. i can't sleep.. i can't eat.. i can't so anything but think.. driving home in the nasty weather made me wanna just jerk the wheel hard and pray i never see tomorrow... chelsea was suppose to come spend her last weekend before school started with me.. i had to call her and tell her i couldnt make it to come get her because we were having problems with money and with our relationship.. she could tell i was crying and had been for a while... there's no one to help us... my mom can only listen... so alone.. so helpless.. so fucked in the head... tim and i got into another fight.. of course about money and we sat and outlined our bills and projected checks in the next month... if we didn't eat or use gas and his boss let's us borrow $200 we will be ok on bills until sept. 2nd and all this crap happens again.. back to square one... that plan is silly... because well i work 20 miles away from home.. and yeah hunger kinda sucks.. i am sick of digging everywhere to find some change for gas.. from not eating tonight so we can have lunch tomorrow.. tim called his grandfather to see if they can help and we found out his grandmother is in the hospital.. he told tim he couldnt help, started crying and hung up the phone... thats all any of us needs right now.. he has been fearing the day his grandma dies for a long time... because his grandpa isnt far behind her.. they have been together for like 70 years... it all makes me sick to my stomach.. i have had acid reflex for the past two nights from stress...

(what the fuck did you say?)

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

12:54PM - Jett is my hero

monday afternoon i came home from work... stripped off my coffee infested uniform and sprawled out on the bed.. relaxing after 5 straight days of hard working... and no sleep... i was just about to fall asleep when i heard a knock at the door... i was expecting it to be justin or tim's friend that he was doing car business with.. so i went to look and tell them i would be right there after i got dressed... i barely made it into the livingroom when the door opened... and no one said anything... i was like hello? and a black man said maintence... he would not open the door completely because he saw my puppy and jett was standing his ground.. i said hold on and went put on some clothes.. when i came back.. the guy was still trying to get in and jett was like you are not coming into my mama's house! i grabbed his collar and let the dude in... he said he had a work order for the bathroom.. and didnt have any clue what he was suppose to be doing.. ...they are suppose to be changing the fixure in the bathroom (that was suppose to be done like may 27th) and he was like oh well i have to go meet some guy and then i will get my tools and come back around 4.. he never showed... but yeah.. jett saved me from being walked in on.. isnt that cute? he is such a wonderful dog... even mia was acting a bit territorial when he came to look at the bathroom.... we reported the incident to the office and they said that there were more complaints about them barging in on people... damn assholes!

other than that boy did i enjoy my time off... and the shift meeting was canceled which made me even happier that i didnt have to drive way the fuck out there on my day off.. i caught up on my sleep and i am ready to close tonight.. i wonder who i close with?

i finally went to the huge as thift store they built by cortana... i got some kick ass black pants that are hawt.... and we brought jett to get a new bone.... he pissed like 937373 times at petco.. how embarrassing....

me and tim are doing better.... for a while we were at each others throats and talking about calling it quits.... i guess since we finally got a little chunk of change so we could eat helped out a lot.... i am still not sure what we are going to do about rent and the loans.... that's friday... i guess i sit and wait and cross my fingers things work out... i just hope we get on track soon.... this stress is killing me.. it made me start my period 3 days early and made it a really bad one.....

with a little spare time on my hands i have been working on unlocking everything on mortal kombat.... and letting everyone go through their training.. i heart video games :)

i heart free time to play video game....

(what the fuck did you say?)

Tuesday, August 2, 2005


I'm a Red Converse All-Star

Fiery and temperamental, your skill makes up for your fiesty attitude, but not by much. To those around you, both leaders and coworkers, your fiery, stubborn attitude and short temper have put you in more than one bad situation. Still, in the end, those who have to deal with you will always say you contributed in the end, though they hated you at the time. You're the Rasheed Wallace or Kenyon Martin of your life, getting in bitter, biting arguments and often suffering the repercussions personally, but always contributing to the project in the end.

What color Converse All-Star are you?

I'm a Pink iPod

You're a Pink iPod, reflecting the high-pitched melodies and synthesized music that dominate your library. Chances are you're the one some people laugh at for singing at the top of their lungs in their car, but you don't care: to you, that must be how Britney or Justin got their start.

What color iPod are you?

<td align="center">A Peacock

A peacock represents your sexual appetite. You like to look good to attract potential lovers and you are very preoccupied with sex – not that that is a bad thing. You are into fantasizing, and enjoy sex a lot.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com</td>

You Are Subversion!
You are systematic and secretive. Sometimes even very calculating. Most everyone trusts you but they have no idea what really goes on in your head. You are capable of being nice or mean, whatever a situation calls for. You look out for #1.

What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You are 80% Pisces

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Louise Brooks
You are a Vamp. Included in this category are
Louise Brooks, Marlene Dietrich, Jean Harlow,
and Anna May Wong. You like to be adventurous
and completely unorthodox. You cannot stand to
go with the crowd. You like to flirt with
trouble more than anything and you always
intrigue the men. People may see you as dark
and dangerous, though that is only your
exterior. You are deep and most intelligent.
You end up being a loner because your thoughts
often evade others capabilities to understand
what you think. Your colour is black.

Which Silent Film Cliche Are You? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

muahahaha!  I&apos;m Lord Licorice!
Mua ha ha ha ha! You're the evil Lord Licorice.
Your heart is as hard as rock candy. You hope
to someday take over Candy Land, and maybe the
rest of the world!

Which Candy Land Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Jasmine from Aladdin!

What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

You and your Lj are in love. Thoughts of Lj
consume your mind when you are apart. The
grass has never been greener, and life has
never been so wonderful! Everything reminds you
of Lj, Lj understands everything you feel and
Lj is your best friend.

What is the relationship between you and your Lj?
brought to you by Quizilla

Angelina Jolie
You're dark, twisted and gorgeous, Angelina Jolie.

What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Bitch Slapper!
Bitch Slap

What kind of non-weapon related attack move are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(what the fuck did you say?)

Monday, August 1, 2005



You shed tears of pearls. You are
the definition of beauty. Everyone loves you
because they admire you. You are a goddess/god
among mortal beings. Yet you know better you
know that you are not perfection as they see

If you want I would love it if you
told me what you thought or rated or even
joined my site and posted your result at

What type of tears do you shed? (Girl or Guy with pix)
brought to you by Quizilla


Your life is red. Your life is all about self
strength. Power and survival are two goals you
lead your life to. Your life is full of action
and fear is not something accepted. Through the
hardcore center of your soul you desire love,
which makes you compatible with someone with a
pink life could get along well with someone
with an orange or gold life because you both
share the determination of self betterness.
Someone with a black life would only choose you
so feel special.

What color is your life and how you would get along with other colored lives. Great Pix!!!
brought to you by Quizilla

A rebel with and without a cause, you belong to the clan of the Brujah. This clan is the muscle of the Camarilla and are always up for fights. However, you are difficult to control...especially since you tend to frenzy easier than most vampires. You are /the/ clan not to piss off or expect a missing limb.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

Which Rock Chick Are You?

Who Would Slaughter You in a Horror Movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

(what the fuck did you say?)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

10:10PM - This is Jett the great

so i couldnt help myself... i went and rescued one of those dogs... i wouldnt of been able to live with myself if i didnt.. i wuv him

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he's a little over weight but it's okay.. more the better

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)

Sunday, July 24, 2005

10:49PM - adopted dogs are the best dogs

There are 28 dogs looking for a good home by July 28th. These dogs are from the animal shelter in Franklin, LA. The shelter was built on private property, and the owner wants the dogs off of it now. A new shelter is being built, but will not be ready for weeks. These dogs will be put to sleep if no one adopts them. They have been spayed and neutered, and current on vaccines. The shelter has waived all adopt fees. Please help.

St. Mary Humane Society
1613 Willow St.

Franklin, LA 70538
Phone: 337-828-3633

Email: fstrhome@aol.com

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

12:22PM - lalala

so katy came over last night.. YAY.. i got her to come and i didn't even have to kidnap her (haha just joking sweetie) me, tim, katy, craig and chelsea went to see charlie and the chocolate factory....... and ...... IT ROCKED! GO SEE IT NOW!!! NOW!!! NOW!!! tim burton is a genius .. and johnny depp.. god of all that it is thespian... what i liked more than anything is that tim gave willy wonka a life.. a background.... woohoo... i wanna go see it again...

without chelsea... she was being extra annoying last night... i guess trying to impress my friends in that 12yo sort of way but made me wanna kill her instead... she is always annoying in the 12yo sort of way and perverted but last night was REALLY bad.. i can't wait until she discovers that to be cool around older people she needs to be chilled kicks in... dammit...attention is not that serious sweetheart...

i dunno... i had a giggly scrumptious time... better than work yesterday.. damn schedules...

oh oh oh! looky


ohh he's in trouble.. he's in trouble... haha.. maybe he was the store manager .. in that case i would take his job and make it a topless starbucks.. then no problems will ever happen... shit.. if we run out of milk i would be like bitch come squirt your titty in my au lait

night 2 of trent dreams.. :(

(3 fuck you toos | what the fuck did you say?)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

12:33AM - if i was a mortal kombat warrior

i decided i will always be obsessed with the KMFDM - mortal kombat mix..

which got me to thinking...

it would be the greatest thing ever if i could kick someone's ass to that theme... mortal kombat style using a fatality..

so here it goes..

i would be cyrax because he is my favorite character of all time... my best friends would be scorpion and smoke...

my gay love would be baraka and my mistress would be kitana..

the first person i would destroy would be johnny cage then i would getsonya.... i would be like "I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL KOMBAT!" then really bad blood effects splatter everywhere.. and it would be on.. i hate them...

then we would goth rave dance and rejoice..

yeah so my allies don't match with the real story...

it's BRANDIE'S version of mortal kombat.. deal with it

Current mood: moody

(2 fuck you toos | what the fuck did you say?)

Monday, July 11, 2005


so i went to houston.. it was great.. we had a lot of fun..


i had to leave.. how sad..

conclusion.... don't go to houston with people that actually want to leave one day....



The concert was wonderful because matt is always wonderful but it was hot as fuck... i punched some girl in the eye... she made me mad... she wouldnt get her elbows off of me and tried to cut in front of me .. dammit.. oops...

it was the first time i have seen chris in 5 months... which kinda made me sad.. i wish we lived closer... one day i should just pack up and finally move.. but that is so scary...

i tried to adopt a rottie but my damn apartment manager is a LIAR! when we moved in, she was like yeah we accept all kinds of dogs... failed to mention they have breed restrictions that apparently don't matter anyway because 60% of the people that live here own pittbulls.. which is also on the list.. i am in the application process of maybe getting a shar-pei.. i always liked them too.. i wonder if they are on the list too... pretty much it's like you can have any animal you want expect pure breeds ... at least that's the way it sounded...

stupid rules....

oh well...

one day i will find the right one...

even if they will NEVER be as great as trent... i just feel so lonely without a puppy...

i go back to work tomorrow for the first time in 6 days.. i wonder what i have missed.... it seems like every time i am gone for more than one day, i come back and it's all different....

i have figured out if you take all the nirvana albums and let them play by what track they are on, on each of the albums,(like all tracks ones together etc etc) it sounds pretty good...

Current mood: indifferent

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)

Saturday, July 2, 2005


last night was kind of unsettling to me... i spent most it crying my eyes out... tim had already went to bed and he woke up to me doing this.. after trying in vain to calm me down, i decided i wouldnt sleep that night and got online for a little bit... but i started freaking out again.. but i left my AIM on and craig messaged me and i went to see who it was and what they wanted and tim tried to go lay on the couch.. he wanted to leave me there.. alone.. and it hit me then and there... trent's death really had no effect on him... i never seen him cry.. not even in the ER room... and he hasn't said much about it... all he keeps telling me is that i gave him a good home and he loved me.... yeah i know trent loved me and our apartment was better than the pound... he kept asking me what was wrong and what i was thinking about... i am thinking about my dog and how he isnt right there on the floor on my side of the bed... how when i am home alone and scared i don't have him to be with... and how i won't always have someone happy to see i am home no matter what the day brought .. and someone there to love me... unconditionally... trent was suppose to be our dog but he ended up being "my stupid dog" as tim called him... i loved "my stupid dog" more than anything... and right now i can't just think of the good times (tim's advice) because i am mourning... trent's not here anymore... which is so fucked up because 48 hours ago he was... and he seemed healthy and wonderful.... sometimes i think tim was almost jealous of the attention i gave trent.... :(

(what the fuck did you say?)

Friday, July 1, 2005


i called tim from work yesterday and he said trent was having trouble breathing and at first i thought nothing of it... he would loose his breathe sometimes .. but he always was ok...

i came home from work and he was still having trouble breathing... it sounded like he had been outsaide running for hours... which scared me... so i rushed him to the ER

it took forever for them to admitt him.. he could barely walk and he pooped the nasty red blood clot in the parking lot.. while we were waiting, he was sprawled out on the floor in pain.. and when they did admitt, they put him on an IV and an oxygen machine... he was freaking out... so they sedated him and the vets ran blood tests and come to find out he had heart worms... bad.. they said he was older than what the pound said.. he was supposedly about 2.. he was probably 5 or more because the heatworms had been there for years...the pound also told me he was perfectly healthy.. the test showed he would porbably going to die because he was too weak to fight and receive heart worm treatment.. and his red blood cells were collasping ... when the vet left the room to get the papers to sign to put him to sleep.. the oxygen machine became unplugged and he started to die right there in my arms.. i just kept whispering in his ear i loved him... he started going into seizures .. they injected him because he couldn't breathe... and it was over...

it's lonely to come home to an empty apartment.. he's not standing there wagging his whole body to greet me... i miss him..

i seriously doubt i will make it at work tonight.. i tried to find someone to fill in for me, but no luck... it sucks being in my position because WE CAN NOT CALL IN.. EVER... i just want to lay in bed .. stare at the wall.. i feel sick to my stomach...

he was like a kid to me... no one understands that ....

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Current mood: depressed

(2 fuck you toos | what the fuck did you say?)

Wednesday, June 29, 2005



how gay of me...


(2 fuck you toos | what the fuck did you say?)

Sunday, June 26, 2005


did i mention we are going to see NIN??!!? and BILLY IDOL! YAY! www.voodoomusicfest.com

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)


i don't have to work today.. it feels nnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! yesterday at the starbucks was hell.. oh my god.. i have never made so much prep in my life.. i am just glad to get away from it for one day.. i worked 7 days straight....

it's been so long since i updated i got a lot of catching up to do..

yeah tim was fired from the relay for dumb ass reasons and i was freaking out about it... he got a job at this pizza place but his boss is a fucking freak... yesterday he went in to see what he could work and the dude was freaking out on everyone... he was yelling at the black dude howard that works there and fired him.. and the other new guy (may i add there's only 4 people that work there and one of them is the boss).. they were all "stealing" from him... and he kicked the two old guys out the place that were sitting down eating.. so tim says fuck that dude... he is suppose to be getting a call from amanda's boss in the next few days to see if he is the next poboy express employee...

i have some good news.... debbie had to go back to the hospital for her leg because it was infected again and the doctor kinda scared us about her foot talking about she might never walk right again but luckily she went in time and she is going to be fine... and tim got his last pay check from the relay and it was like $300 more than we thought it would be so yeah we caught up... no more loan and cox the satan cable company is paid off... and with the money he made at his scary job rent will be covered too... such weight lifted off my chest...

i got vacation time which i am excited about.. me and chad are going to houston to see alkaline trio... YAY matt! it's going to feel good being away from baton rouge for a flittle while.... plus i get to see chrisy poo which i havent seen since him and devin came down for mardi gras...

right now i am debating if i wanna go swimming or not.. i spent the whole day with my family... my mom came over like .5 seconds after i woke up and we headed to starbucks to get my markout then we went to eat the bestestestest stuff ever... papacitos yum! homemade tortillas... the best.... then we went to see debbie at the hospital and tim's grandma and uncle came over for a while...

now i am burning like 938387 cds for my cousin.. rory asked if i wanted to go to new orleans with them tonight but i might have her and since she is only 12 going clubbing in new orleans might not work... i figured i would call him later and tell him whats up... i really wanted to go... do something out the ordinary and see some fresh faces...

i dunno.. well i guess i am going to get back to my downloading....

(1 fuck you too | what the fuck did you say?)

Thursday, June 9, 2005


so it finally hit me the other day.. i am moved in... i am done with it....

we got a kitten named mia.. and well tim's mommy... she tried to nurse on his nipple and he gets mad everytime i bring it up but it's fucking hilarious and cute....

she is SATAN but we love her anyway...

why i am plagued with the weirdest dreams on the face of this earth?

is it kinda like why brett made the biggest mess of his whole life (yay inside joke) why was that so funny again?

as you can see i am in good spirits... please please don't pass out

(what the fuck did you say?)

Sunday, May 29, 2005


what a fucking horrid ass day...

i feel like the world is caving in on me ..

work was miserable... well the job itself was wonderful but the fucking employees there... i am getting sick and tired of their BS... i am a shift so i try and try and try to make peace with everyone i had one girl do ABSOLUTELY nothing all night after me almost making myself loose my voice by riding her ass about it.. she is too worried about fucking the whole half way house down the street than doing her job and now that her cell phone is lost, the starbucks telephone has become her personal hotline.. then i had another barista call and hang up like 6 times because she only wants to talk to the one that is talking to her friends in the cafe and when i confront her she wants to deny it.. all because she was looking for pot... then after getting things in order to close shop all the damn girl's friends are outside with their ninjas parked on our cafe area and wont leave... i had to wait like 5 minutes after telling them they had to go... and of course i am stuck behind them on the way home and they feel the need to show off and do wheelies and block the interstate going fucking 50mph... i fucking hate people...

and i believe people fucking hate me..

i guess it's one vicious cycle...

i have a feeling people in my life are now avoiding me ...

starting at the top with my aunt.. because my mom confronted her about her lack of paying me back .. mostly because she had to give me $60 because we had no money to pay our phones or fill our cars with gas... and my mom's favorite line is " i really don't have it but here... i can't help you like i use to" but she can cook and feed leon's 4 kids.... and i am suppose to be okay with the fact that she borrows from me almost every two weeks... jeez.. that's a whole different issue isn't it? and now me and tim are fucking broke.. and i tried calling her today and i got no answer... is she mad at me? i dunno... i was trying to do good and ended up puttng myself in a hole..

god dammit .. i wish this week would just end and we will be in our new place...

i just want to drive around in my car hitting people with my hand in the air flipping them off....

i am the pissie penguin tonight

fuck you!

Current mood: pissed off

(what the fuck did you say?)

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